Three Cheesy Lines To Avoid Using In Your Writing

Hey Scribblers!

Welcome back to Sketch Scribble Scribe! I’m Jehosheba and I apologize because it’s been forever since I last posted on here! *cringes* But we’ve got a schedule worked out for March (thank you, Hattush!!!) and hopefully you’ll be seeing me on here quite a bit more!

Today I want to talk about something that really annoys me in writing: and that’s the use of some super cheesy lines that are in literally hundreds of other books. I feel like way too many people use these sentences without even thinking about it. It definitely ruins the mood and I feel like it interrupts the flow for me.

Anyway, let’s jump in! Here are three cheesy lines to think twice about adding to your story.

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And for the first time in his/her life, he/she began crying.

This is more of a general version of this sentence: some people will say, “a tear trickled down his/her cheek” or something like that, but you get the point. This is a pretty obvious sentence to avoid using in your stories!

Now, I’m aware of how romantic and immensely tragic it sounds. But really, unless your character is superhuman or something like that, they’re going to have cried at some point in their lives. And so many people have this in their stories that it’s really overused. Please avoid writing this.

If you’re trying to make a point about how a character hasn’t cried in a long time, I would recommend making a note of it earlier in the story, or simply emphasizing the fact that they don’t show their emotions outwardly enough. If you do a good job, then when readers see your characters crying, they’ll know it’s a big deal without you having to say anything.

For example, in James Fenimore Cooper’s The Last of the Mohicans, Chingachgook never cries—or laughs—or anything, he really. He’s super stoic and he doesn’t ever show his emotions. Cooper rarely states this out right, but we see it throughout the whole story. But when Chingachgook’s son, Uncas, dies we finally see Chingachgook as he cries.

Chingachgook grasped the hand that, in the warmth of feeling, the scout had stretched across the fresh earth, and in that attitude of friendship these two sturdy and intrepid woodsmen bowed their heads together, while scalding tears fell to their feet, watering the grave of Uncas like drops of falling rain.

The Last of the Mohicans–James Fenimore Cooper

Imagine how much less impactful that would have been if Cooper had instead written, “Chingachgook grasped the scout’s hand and—for the first time in his life—he began to cry.”

(Okay, I promise I won’t spend so long on the rest of these points—that’s the one that annoys me the most so I had to rant a bit. XD)

Life will never be the same again.

This sentence can be used in a variety of instances, but it’s most commonly seen after the death of a character. I realize that this is often how life is: after the death of a loved one, life is never the same again.

But in the context of a story, I would avoid using this sentence for a few reasons.

First of all, like the last one, it’s really overused. You’ll see it in quite a few books and movies.

Secondly, I think there’s a much better way to show what your character’s feeling. If they are thinking that life will never be the same again, you could show them struggling to go about their daily activities, but all the while, something is missing. Maybe they’re doing the dishes or something and they have some flashback to a memory connected with doing the dishes. Simple things like that can go a lot further than just stating it out.

“You’re the first person in my life who’s ever cared.”

*cringes* So, I hate to put this one on my list here, because I feel like it’s something people actually say in real life. However, there are a few reasons I would advise leaving it out of your story.

As I mentioned in the last two points, I feel like you could say this a in a much better way. Instead of having your character blatantly say, “You’re the first person who’s ever cared about me”, you could give us a peek into his backstory or thoughts and let us see that there really aren’t many people who have been there for him in the past. Any opportunity to add backstory should be taken. (You can see Hattush’s awesome post on backstory here!)

Now, I realize that there may be a point in your story where you have to use a sentence like this and in that case, I wouldn’t worry about it. As long as it’s well done, I don’t think I personally would get too annoyed. 😉

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And . . . I was planning on making this longer, but I’m already . . . (glances at schedule) four days late. *facepalm* Woops. If this was at all helpful (or fun to read) I might do another post on this, but for now I’m going to sign off! Thanks for reading!

Jehosheba

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